Sunderland Mäkisen elämä ja kuolema - Osa 2

10.8.2015

Dear Santeri Mäkinen,

COMPENSATION FOR YOUR LAST EFFORT

How are you today my dear? I hope you are doing so great! Really it
has been so long.

I am writing in respect to our mutual enefits,after all said and
done,I finally came out victoriously. It is quite unfortunate that you
lose the trust and confidence I had earlier reposed on you. Although,
I actually understand all you went through, skepticism and doubt, you
definitely gave up.

I trust that this my message will meet you well after quite a very
long time. I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the
fund transferred under the co-operation of a new partner. I am
presently in Venezuela with my partner for investment projects. I
completed the claim with the help of a new partner from Venezuela.

Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me
in transferring the fund despite we couldn't succeed. I am sorry for
what happened all this while because it got to a time when there was
so much confusion that made you to become very doubtful about this
transaction, but I thank God today, it is all over and the fund was
successfully transferred.

Now contact my Bishop in Togo, his name is REV. JOSEPH AVISSEY, and
his email address( revft.josephavis01@gmail.com ) advise him on how to
send you the CHEQUE of $1,000 000.00 which I kept for your
compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in
this matter.. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. So
feel free and get in touch with my Bishop and instruct him where to
send the CHEQUE to you.

Please, do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share
the joy after all the sufferer at that time. In the moment, I'm very
busy here because of the investment projects which my new partner and
I are having at hand, finally, so feel free to get in touch with him,
he will send your CHEQUE to you without any delay.

By the grace of God, my wife is undergoing her medical treatment over
here in India and she send her regards to you and your family.

Thanks and God you.

Best regards,
Mr.John Peter

Hello Peter John,

I gave up? It was you who gave up! I send you my passport and then I heard nothing from you for over six months. Man, you are like my ex-girlfriend who I had in High School. One day she talks to me and shit, next day she didn't and told me to fuck off. Actually, now that I think about it, she did have an identical twin sister who died at the same time she started to avoid me... Hmm... I know the pieces are there, I don't know how to put this puzzle together yet, but the pieces are there.

Anyway, so good to hear you are having good time with MY NAZI GOLD! And it's so nice to hear you have a NEW PARTNER to enjoy MY NAZI GOLD also. What a relief. Also, great news to hear that your wife is being cured from her disease with the help of MY NAZI GOLD!

I must admit, I am a bit angry with you. You gave up on me, even though I was the greatest business partner there ever was. We could have ruled the world! I was ready to go the distance. I even killed my cousin Montgomery for you. What more could you want?

Peter John... Is there any way we two could get together again? I miss you. I miss the ways you told me not to speak to you like that, okay. Or did you tell that to Montgomery? I don't remember BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN AGES! I LOVE YOU PETER JOHN AND DAMN IT, I KNOW YOU LOVE ME TOO!

Can we meet? Maybe even in India where you are staying, or Venezuela, since you claim to be in both. So can we meet there, whichever country it is you are. Actually, let's just assume you are in India, it's easier that way. I know a great pizza place in India.

Also, I will send a message to the reverend, telling him that you will dump your other partner and get back together with me.

Santeri Mäkinen

 

Hi,

An African "lawyer" Peter John told me to get in contact with you about this Nazi Gold thing, it's a long story. But that's just passive aggressive fuck you from Peter, who is rubbing this "I have a new partner and you can't have any Nazi Gold from your cousin Sunderland" shit in my face.

I do understand you are a priest. Therefore I have a little proposition for you.

I am going to meet Peter John soon in this classy Pizza place in India and I am going to propose. Then, after he dumps his stupid new ugly partner and divorces his stupid dying ugly wife for me, I was thinking that we would come to your church. And you could marry us. Would this be okay to you?

I am going to go shopping now, I gotta get Peter a nice dress. Or maybe I should be the woman in this marriage? Damn right I should! The white dress will looks so good on me. FANTASTIC! I am going to make this the greatest wedding ever! Oh man, I also need something blue, something old and something borrowed for my dress. I think my garter could be the blue, and some Nazi Gold sprinkled on my hair could be the old, but what can I borrow? So much to do and so little time!

Anyway, I need to go plan my wedding, we will see you soon!

Santeri Mäkinen, soon to be Santeri John.

Dear Santeri Mäkinen,

May God forgive you with all the evil things you have written.
 
Thanks for your mail dated 18/07/2015. I have been waiting to hearing from you regarding this issue.

Meanwhile, I will kindly need to reconfirm your identity very well in a scenes that I will advice you to send a scan copy of your Identity Card, Passport or your drivers license for my personal confirmation of identity together with your Home Address and phone( MOBILE) number  and also to enable me submit it to the delivery company.

However, I will expect to hearing from you soon, while I shall drive to the delivery companies tomorrow morning to find out the cost for safe delivery of your parcel to your home country.

Asap as I am back from the delivery companies for an inquiry, I will get back to you with all the necessary information on how you can receive your parcel in safe delivery.

May the peace of God be with you and your family!!

His Holiness,
Rev. Joseph AVISSEY.

Your Holiness,

I don't have a working scanner at the moment, since the last one called me an asshole and I murdered it. So I can’t scan my passport right now. Do you accept Love as an means of identity, since I have lots of Love to give?

Also, what was the evil thing I wrote? Did it have something to with the stolen Nazi gold?

I have been planning the wedding like crazy. I was thinking our rings could be silver and our color code would be silver and blue. It would be great if you could wear silver cape with some blue figures in it. Maybe some Smurfs or those Avatar-people. Also, we should get some strippers with silver eye-liner and blue thongs or something. That's classy, right?

Oh shit, I need to find out the left ring finger ring size of Peter John or I can't buy the ring for him! Shit!

Gotta send a mail to Peter John. Meanwhile, please get back to me ASAP

Santeri

 

Hi,

So, like, don't think too much about it, but could you please answer the following questions as soon as possible, really for no real reason, but I still need the answers very soon:

-What was the name of the guy who made the song White Christmas?
-What colour is the moon?
-What's your left ring finger ring size?
-How are you?

Santeri

 

Hello,

May the peace of God be with you and your family!

I'm just coming back from the courier offices and I have made the necessary findings from the courier companies here in Togo for the dispatch of your parcel with above information(Address) you forwarded to me, but the courier service requested that the parcel must be registered in their office here before they dispatched it to  avoid problem.

Meanwhile, here is the cost of sending and registration of your parcel through any of these below Express Courier Services and that is the cost from here to your country, You are required to pay the necessary courier charges to enable me send your parcel immediately. please these are the preferred channels of delivery your parcel I confirmed, make your choice and get back to me asap:

DHL

Mailing;.............................. 300.00
Vat (20%).............................  50,00     (it will take 3 days to delievery)
TOTAL................................. $350.00

UPS

Mailing:............................. 200.00
Vat20%:.............................. 50.00  (it will take 4 days to delievery)
TOTAL:.............................. $250.00

FEDEX EXPRESS

Mailing................................125.00
Vat (20%).............................. 50.00      (it will take 4 days to delievery)

TOTAL.................................$175.00

It is pertinent to note that this payment is not negotiable so select any of your affordable courier fee and send it through Western Union Money Transfer with this name/details stated below:

Immediately I receive the courier fee, I will send the parcel to you immediately and forward the tracking number to you. I wait for your urgent response with evidence of payment such as Mtcn Number, senders full name, as well as text question and answer to enable me dispatch it today.

May the peace of God be with you.

His Holiness,
Rev. Joseph AVISSEY.

Hi,

What does "post" mean?

Santeri Mäkinen

Listen, I have balready sent to you with all the necessary delivery cost details, It is pertinent to note that this payment is not negotiable so select any of your affordable courier fee and send it through Western Union Money Transfer with this name/details stated below:

Immediately I receive the courier fee, I will send the parcel to you immediately and forward the tracking number to you. I wait for your urgent response with evidence of payment such as Mtcn Number, senders full name, as well as text question and answer to enable me dispatch it today.

May the peace of God be with you.

His Holiness,
Rev. Joseph AVISSEY.

Hi,

If I do that, whatever it was that you wanted me to do, will you marry me and Peter John?

Also, will you unmarry me and this one chick I married two days ago. It's a long story but I can sum it up as such: We met and had sex and got married and now next saturday she wants to introduce me to her parents and I don't want to go. So I need someone to divorce us, and by someone I'm thinking of you. Could you please call her and tell her I'm divorcing her and that I am definately not going to her parents next saturday?

Oh shit, Peter John still hasn't told me his left ring finger ring size! Gotta go, please say yes to both of my demands and I'll do whatever post thing it was you wanted me to do, unless it involves something nasty like anal or similar stuff.

Yours truly,

Santeri

Hey, my dishwasher broke and I need to change the pipe, and the pipe is exactly the size of your left ring finger... So, could you please tell me the size of your left ring finger ASAP so I can fix my dishwasher.

Also, I love you…

Santeri.

Tell me your fucking left ring finger ring size right the fuck now!

 

Hello,

I'm still alive. I survived my horrible ordeal of being left to die in the Atlantic ocean. The only thing that kept me going was my need to ask you this one really important question:

What's your left ring finger ring size?

Montgomery